The deeper I get into adulthood the more out-of-control my life feels, I am constantly responding and reacting rather than directing, and I don’t like the feeling and I don’t want to continue living in this fashion.
I feel like every time I take a positive step forward some big bad guys step forth from the shadows and bust me in the knees with baseball bats a couple times and then slink back into the shadows, waiting and watching for my next move.
You know what I mean, right?
You bust your ass to make an extra $500 a month for you family, and what happens? As if by magic, food cost rises an extra $500 per month. You bust your ass even harder for another $500 a month. Guess what, rent goes up, gas is more expensive, and–poof!–all your extra money is gone and you have to work harder and harder for a lifestyle that is becoming less and less.
It’s as if the shadow men are keeping tabs on us to make sure the lower-middle class never exceeds a certain standard of living. I think this is actually what’s going on, and the powers are too great for us to fight.
There are only two things we can do:
- Accept everything will continue to go up except for our salary.
- Accept the game is rigged and fight within the confines of your circle of influence.
1. Stop Being Nice And Polite To Forces That Are Making You Live Life On Your Knees
Be nice and polite to your loved ones. Be nice and polite to coworkers (because you need to play the game to keep your job). Do not be nice and polite to the forces that are actively trying to make your life worse.
Your best weapon against these forces is the phrase “No, thanks.”
Even though it has the word “thanks” in it you are not being nice and polite, you are playing the same game as the others of pretending to be nice and polite, while not being nice and polite.
Examples:
Who wants to be a team player and work through the weekend for no extra pay since you are on salary? “No thanks.” But this is a very important project! “No, thanks.” We really need you to step up and be a team player here. “No, thanks.”
“No” is a magic word that will save you immense amounts of time, money, stress, and dignity. I’m not opposed to saying “Yes,” mind you.
I say “Yes” to my children frequently. I say “Yes” to my wife frequently. I say “Yes” to my neighbors and friends and causes that are important to me.
I do not say “Yes” to people who who would never say “Yes” to me. I do not say “Yes” to people who are manipulative. A very common trick used by manipulative people that you need to be aware of is those who give you a small “gift.” The “gift” could be an item, time, or a very small “yes” for you in order to get a whopper of a “yes” back. This is a psychological trick all manipulative people know about and that good people fall for all the time.
Good people, like you and I, believe in reciprocality. I help you plant sod in your yard and you help me build shelves in my garage. In fact, you would feel guilty if I helped you with your yard and you didn’t help me with anything in return. Manipulative people know about this normal, human psychological condition and take advantage of it.
That’s why so many salesmen give you worthless “gifts.” It’s not from the goodness of their hearts. You look at buying a car and they say “Hey! I got something here for you! A free coffee mug!” That will trigger the reciprocality psychology in you, and how can you reciprocate for this $5 gift, well, you can buy a $35,000 car! And your brain will want to because you received a gift!
Be wary of people who give you worthless gifts, even if that “gift” is a salesmen spending an hour of time with you, that also triggers reciprocality “Oh man I feel guilty that I wasted an hour of this guy’s time, I guess I better buy a car…”
Always be prepared to use your new favorite word: “No.”
2. Get In Shape And Get Strong
Yes, get in shape, get strong, get healthy. We all know we should get in shape. We all know we should exercise. It’s time to follow through and get it done. It’s the best way to take back your life.
3. Start An Online Business
It will take you 3 – 5 years of hard work before you will be free, but you will be free. An online business could be a blog (that’s what I’m doing), it could be an ecommerce store selling stand up desks, it could be a service or skill you have that you are able to monetize while working remotely.
Building a successful online business is hard, but it is worth it once you are free to make all of your money online from a laptop from anywhere in the world.
4. Organize Your Life
Part of the chaos may be due to your life being out of control, being completely unorganized. Clean your house, throw away junk, organize the rest of the items.
An organized workspace and living space allows for an organized mind.
5. Break Some Rules
Many rules we follow are self-imposed or were imposed by somebody else for a reason that is not meant to benefit you. Many of us have rules in our minds that we follow without questioning it and those rules hold us back.
“Always give two weeks notice.” What? Like the two weeks notice businesses give to their laid off employees?
“Always put others first.” Newsflash: the “others” will gladly step on your face and drown you in a pond if they think it will get them one step closer to something they want.
“I have to save money for my kids to go to college.” Why do your children need to go to college? So they can be indoctrinated by people who do not share your values and so they can earn degrees that do not improve their future?